Ayobamide is a 36-year-old mother of three living in Oke-Ijebu, Akure. She once spoke proudly of her husband, Oluwadamilola, a quiet civil servant who provided for his family with consistency and care — until everything changed.
Today, she’s no longer sure if she’s in a marriage or just enduring a partnership built on memories.
“Before, he brought food, paid the school fees, handled the rent. Now, even asking him for money makes me scared,” she said quietly, sitting in front of her one-room store where she sells rice and garri.
Over the last nine months, Oluwadamilola has stopped contributing meaningfully to the household. But it’s not just the withdrawal of money that worries her — it’s the harshness of his words.
“He no longer explains anything. Once I mention money or what the children need, he just flares up. He says I’m nagging or comparing him to other men.”
According to Ayobamide, this isn’t about laziness or a sudden unemployment. Her husband still goes to work. His salary may have reduced, like many others due to Nigeria’s economic strain, but there’s no clarity, no transparency — just anger and verbal attacks.
“He calls me ungrateful. Sometimes he’ll say, ‘Go and marry one of those men that can feed you!’ Is that what I deserve after all these years?”
She says she has tried to be understanding, given the tough economy. But the lack of respect and constant tension have left her feeling drained and confused.
“I provide as much as I can from my little shop. But what hurts most is how I’m spoken to — like I’m the problem for simply wanting food on the table or school money for our children.”
Now, Ayobamide is at a crossroads. She doesn’t want to rush into any decision, but she’s no longer sure whether endurance equals wisdom or just self-harm.
“People will say I should stay. That this is how marriage is. But I keep asking myself — how much more can I take? Am I supposed to raise these children alone anyway?”
💔 A Woman at a Crossroads
Ayobamide isn’t asking for luxury. She’s not asking for perfection. She’s asking for respect, partnership, and communication — even if the pockets are empty.
In her words:
“I’m not saying he should give me the world. I just want peace, kindness, and to know we’re in this together.”
She is now seeking advice — from elders, counsellors, women’s groups, or anyone who has walked this path. Is endurance noble? Or is it dangerous to remain in a home where verbal abuse replaces love?
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